Labels are still labels

This is my son. I also have my daughter in this photo as well. She is starting into the phase where dad won't be cool. She is 7, it will get far worse than it is today. As you see from this picture my son has his arm around her and she is sitting quietly next to him. She is just starting to understand that Tyler is slightly different than she is. Her friends already understand that. Since I am new to this blogging thing and sharing all of the little things that matter in life. All of those items that get my blood boiling or raise up my passion as I reside on this planet that rings around a sun some million of miles away. I as a man am not against sharing of my feelings. When I was in desperate need of therapy and some may say that I still am, I had a counselor tell me that almost everyone knows how I feel about whatever interests and passions I might have. I overshare.



There is a new movie starting today. For some reason beyond what I might understand as Tyler's father or as Alexa's the writer of said movie seems to want to poke fun at going "Full retard" It's something that actors are not suppose to do. I will not name said film, I would rather not give it anymore publicity than it has already had. I will not be seeing this film...I do not find the phrase "don't go full retard" to be funny. I am not an activist, nor do I even pretend to be one. I am just Tyler's father. I do get up in arms about the state of the world probably more than others. A favorite show of mine is PTI. Tony Kornheiser refers many times to Wilbon's America. Well I have always had My World. In My world many things don't ever happen. So much of life I just plain don't get and don't understand. Frankly I'm still trying to figure out what happened to Kenny Rogers. Given time and succes, I'm certain you will read more of those here. For now we will look at Full retard.

I'm very afraid this will just take off. We will see it on shirts and on coffee cups, it's a catchy phrase and most don't seem to understand even what "retarded" means. It means you have mental retardation and an IQ below 70. People who are at this mental capacity seem to be the last bastion of groups that can get picked on. Some fling it around like it means the word stupid, Oh that is retarded I've heard on more instances than I can remember. An author on a photo blog that I used to go to used it here. If you look at the number of times he has written retard or retarded, he has issues. Granted he writes alot, but I don't know as I found that many references to stupid. It's his go-to word to discuss things lacking in intelligence. I wrote this author and his response told me that how he used it to celebrate retarded people. I tried to be more clear on why I thought his use was hurtful and he never responded back. I find his incredible number of uses of the word both demeaning and unacceptable. I don't go there. If any others have a problem with how he uses the world please email him at Ken@kenrockwell.com and share your thoughts. I wouldn't expect a response though.

I read a book after Tyler was born titled Expecting Adam many thing I could identify with during the magical time before Tyler was born in a happy way and after he was here in a maturing way. Things were just different many good and many bad. In the book the author goes to great length to show how these had an affect on her life. She grows from her overacheiving self to see just how shallow and ignorant many of the Harvard people are. She likes to dress her son in Harvard sweatshirts and refers to him at times as the retarded kid. It pained me to here the last words, I found these scenes to be borderline darkly humerous at her son's expense. Not having had her experiances though, I also believe it to be a coping mechanism after Adam's birth. Coming to acceptance that Adam won't go to Harvard nor achieve as much intellecutally as she has. Other than these scenes it is truly a wonderful book.

Now onto this movie that is opening today. We brand some poeople retarded by how they look, act and speak. Since as of today we don't carry signs around our necks with our IQ, how else can we tell. My son at 8 runs up to me when he sees me...it's like he has first met me after a long break. Sometimes that is a couple of days and sometimes that is only an hour. He jumps differently, runs much slower and less athletically and looks slightly different than my daughter. He can barely speak, but when he said Dad for the first time at 5 it was an amazing day. He might not ever read, nor achieve so many of the things that I take for granted. None of these bother him. He walks with a wobbly gate, he is an incredible Wii bowler though.

As he walked down the block one day some to play with Alexa, two boys called him a retard. I ask how did they know? I don't even know what my son's IQ is. I could find out, but until recently I didn't even know my own. Some may dispute it, but it truly is above 70. So in Ben Stiller's world we don't want to go full retard. I'm glad he had a choice in it. Some don't. We don't make a choice on intelligence it just is. When Tyler was conceived he got an extra chromosome. Trisomy 21 or Down Syndrome. In a world where everything is extra sized, mega or supersized I always say I am chromosomly challenged being in the condition that I'm in with only 2. By the way it's Down and not Down's, but thats another rant. I'm truly glad that some will laugh at this line, in there world they had a choice as well. Tyler and millions of others didn't. Count yourself lucky in your world. Me I count myself lucky in mine to have Tyler in mine. The boy's down the block didn't play with Tyler, they sent him home. I give Alexa credit, she went with him.

Maybe some laughing at Stiller's joke might also have an IQ below 70 and not know it because they are of the supposed "normal" looking and acting group on this planet. The actor uttering the line continues to get second chances despite amazingly not throwing his life away in some form of drug use for years. We still like him. He takes drugs, goes into rehab he comes back. That is his life. Though I would personally question his IQ, it must work for him at the end of the year on his W-2 is alot more than on mine.

I don't think of Tyler as "retarded" I think of him as Tyler. In my world he could be or he might not. I live day to day with what he does and how he lives and acts. I worry that some won't accept him for who he is before they even meet him and then I shouldn't. It's there own ignorance and that shouldn't concern me.

During one of my rants on the aforementioned movie I was told it's just a word Chris, why should it concern you so much, why care that much. Teach Tyler how to act when the word is thrown to him. Good sentiments for certain. I am mostly a pacifist and a chicken. I run from fights or turn my head the other way. As a person I would be Switzerland. I didn't understand why I was so passionate nor couldn't turn my head until now. I wish I had told this person this. I am my son's father, his champion. I will defend him and love him regardless of who he is, what he does or how he acts. If there is a time that he understands what is said to him and about him I will let him handle it. Until such time, I am his voice. It is not a role I can let go of nor care to. If that means I have to bust some heads, insult some people or rattle some cages I will. I am his champion.

I am also Tyler's dad. I cheered when he learned to walk, I cried when I learned about his day for the first time that had words I could understand spoken by him. I cried one night looking at a CD of things that I missed while he was at school that I didn't hear about, because he couldn't speak. I cheer when he runs even though he finishes last. He makes me laugh because he has the greatest sense of humor and comic timing that I know. He wants to be laughed at or with, it makes no difference, he's happy when your laughing. He may be a full retard, half retard or maybe not retarded at all....All I know is he is my son and I love him.